Long Shadows of Introspection

Last week I completed several projects that kept me happily busy. Is work really its own reward or is it a way to escape unproductive pondering?

Quite often when I complete a great deal of work and the pressure of looming deadlines is lifted I like to sit in a dimly lit room and do nothing. This can last a couple of days. My wife finds my behavior unnerving. This time though I was filled with energy and I quickly went about doing all the little things that I couldn’t do when I was busy. That lasted about three days and then I started brooding so I went out for a long walk. I’m not sure how many miles I traveled but my walk lasted for hours. Heck, it’s two miles into town alone. I decided to look at homes for sale in town. If the right one presented itself I’d buy it and turn it into a studio. It’s a good time to buy. Prices are low. A few years ago I considered buying a small church. What a great studio that would’ve made with its vaulted ceiling. I’d have to have a contractor take off the giant white cross though. All these ideas are completely impractical yet I continue to entertain them. Maybe, just maybe . . . well, I wouldn’t want to miss a great opportunity, would I? (See how my brain works).

The long walk didn’t work though. Today was worse than yesterday. I dragged myself through the day. I did some organizing and some cleaning. It depressed me further. I kept running across disheartening things.

Around four o’clock I went for a run. It was colder than I expected so I had to change my usual path so I’d be running in the sun. As I saw my long shadow ahead of me I thought about what I wanted to do with my future and I decided to start my blog back up.

The picture above was done for Subterranean Press. It’s the cover to an anthology called "Songs of Dying Earth" and I did several pen & ink illustrations for it as well that I will someday post to this blog. I greatly enjoyed reading every story in the book. The reason I put it up on my blog today is that it fit my mood but that mood is gone. I ran away my long shadowy thoughts.